looking back at the past

I've done a lot of soul searching lately.  I have been thinking a lot about when I grew up.

I grew up in Utah.  Went to Payson High School where there was not much of a diversity.  You had ALL the white students and you had your few Latinos.

I mostly felt like the outcast in school; first of all because I was Mexican and because I felt like I didn't fit in.  It was a little hard growing up being me.  My skin color was different, my religion was different my language was different and I felt like people didn't really WANT to get to know me.  I had a lot to offer then and I still have a lot to offer now.

It's funny because I didn't want to be Hispanic when I was young.  I wanted to have long blond hair and pretty white skin like everyone else.  I wanted to be able to wear the cool pastel colors of make-up and look great in them.  How crazy is that!!!  I don't think I have ever admitted that let alone admitted it to my friends but it's the truth.  Now I look at that and think it's crazy that I wanted that.  I'm proud of my brown skin and my dark black sexy hair and even proud of my beautiful brown (no tan needed) skin.  :)

Why am I writing this down?  I have had some concerns with my kids and school last year and even with their friends and honestly I don't really want my kids to go through what I went through growing up. I have told my kids that they should NEVER EVER be ashamed of who they are and where they came from or the color of their skin.  I think it's easier now for them.  I only say that because there are a lot more Hispanics in Utah; not only Hispanics but Polynesians, African American, Samoans and other cultures in Utah. My kids speak Spanish and English.  We talk about everything and anything I answer all their questions honestly and never hide anything.  I think now there is a lot more diversity in Utah and it's not so hard to teach them our traditions and teach them to not be ashamed of where WE and THEY come from.

I leave you with that for today.................