Mourning

"There is no greater sorrow than to recall a time of happiness when in missery."

Today was my neighbors funeral.  I wish that I had been able to go but working nights all I want to do is come home, take my kids to school and sleep.   I had just gotten home and had stepped out of my car to close the door, I saw the night sky was full of stars as there was no moon and it looked so beautiful.  Not something I sit and remenis about very often but for some reason today I did. 

I stood in my front yard gazing up at the night sky and seeing how beautiful it was.  I thought about my neighbor who had her funeral today; she must have been looking down from heaven at her family.  My neighbors are wonderful people.  I think they are Polonesian. I don't know a lot about their cultur but I would have loved to go to the funeral to give my condolances and let them know that  I am there to support them. 

I woke up and got ready for work today and noticed that family was coming back from the funeral.  It was about 2pm when I was sitting at my kitchen table and having a snack. I saw that they all took out a blanket and arranged them in the garage in a big circle. They were all sitting around and I would imagine they were talking about what a great lovely wife, sister, mother, daughter, friend, cousin she must have been.  I was tempted to go over and sit with them but thought it would be really rude since I didn't really know them, except for the occasional hello and going over to chat with them.  Taking the Christmas cookies and treats every year. 

Either way I found it very interesting to see what they were doing, honestly I wanted to run over with my camera and take some pictures.  Everyone looked so at peace, the tears did flow but it was just different. I found that very relaxing as I sat and watched everyone through my window. I had to come to work or I would have sat longer.

To my neighbor: May you rest in peace my beautiful neighbor, I'm sure you are now in a better place enjoying time with your loved ones that are with you in heaven. Your battle was fought bravely and I respect you for that.  Breast Cancer is an ugly beast and you are now free of it.

Here is her Obituary:

Toti Maile
Vaitohi
2011
Toti Maile Vaitohi, age 43, of Spanish Fork, passed away September 19, 2011. Funeral services will be held Friday, September 30, 2011 at 11a.m. in the Spanish Vista Ward LDS Chapel at 1700 E. 1167 S. Spanish Fork, UT. A viewing will be held prior to services from 9:00-11:00a.m. Interment will be in the Spanish Fork City Cemetery. 

Ceci

Permanent Cosmetics

Yesterday; I got off my graves.  Slept for 1 hr.  Took the kids to school.  Drove to my mom's house and slept for another hour. 

I got to my mom's house about 7:45am.  I asked her to let me sleep until 9 and then we could go.  I told her that her appointment wasn't until 10.  My friend Belen and I were at the Women's Expo in Orem not too long ago and saw they had a special.  If we booked that day they would give us whatever we were having done at 1/2 off.  I couldn't resist and signed my mom up for her lashes. I thought it would be a safer alternative than getting her eyes tattooed. 

See my mom has wanted to get her eyeliner tattooed for a while now and had been calling some ladies that were referred to her, with no response.  I had taken her to the iBar 2 weeks ago to get her lashes done but while we were there she decided that she watned to get her eyeliner tattooed instead.  She had wanted this for a while but since she had been sick she decided to hold off until she felt better.

I took some pictures of the before and after and she looked great!! I was so happy to see the expression on my mom's face after she got the procedure done.  It was like a little kid that just got the toy that they had hoped for Christmas.  I love to see my mom happy and to see how happy she was to get this done was great. 

My mom looks beautiful with or without the tattoo but I think it is more of a self esteem thing for her.  She likes to feel good about herself and I love to help her do it, even if it does cause a little bit of pain.  The end result was well worth it.

I will post some pics soon. 
Mami, la quiero mucho y se le ven los ojos bien bonitos!!

Picture Outing

Saturday started out early. I was invited to go up to Payson/Santaquin Canyon to take some pictures.  I just recently bought a new camera and wanted to shoot some more pictures with it and practice.  I'm taking a photography workshop that my friend Wade teaches.  (He is an excellent teacher by the way)

Our assignment is the rule of 3rds and leading lines.  Chris and I went up early in the morning to see if we could capture the sun as it was rising and see what colors and pictures we could get.  I was so excited about this but nervous at the same time.  Chris is a great photographer and I just started learning to use my camera and I wasn't sure if I could take any "good" pictures but being who I am, I didn't give up and went along for the ride.

We got to Maple Lake and set up.  Here are some pics that I took.  The sun was a bit harsh.  I never thought to say this but Cloudy days are a photographers best friend.  The sun isn't bad but if there were some clouds in place I think my pictures would have been better.  Actually I just need to learn to use my camera well and learn to use the light a bit more.  I'm sure Wade will teach us that in the workshop. Here are some of my pictures.

I actually like the way this one turned out. Kind of leading lines like our assignment. 

The reflection of the trees I think looks to yellow and bright.  But I do like the way the ducks are swimming by, they didn't even mind that I was taking a picture of them. 

Over all view of the lake

We drove up a bit farther to see if we could get any other good pictures.  The sun had started to come out and everything that looked so GOOD with the naked eye just didn't look as good in the picture.  I at least got to practice with my camera and think I'm getting the hang of it a little more.  We drove down Santaquin Canyon and saw a really cute stream that we wanted to shoot.  I had seen the pictures of the water that looked so "fluffy" if you can call it that and wanted to try a shot like that one.  We pulled over and as we parked we noticed a cute little mushroom growing out of the tree, of course we had to get some shots of this little guy.  

This has to be my favorite shot.  I don't know why but I just LOVE it! 

After getting all into the mushroom shot we noticed that the sun was starting to come out and remembered why we had even parked there.  We ran across the street to set up for the stream shot.  I used a big rock that was there along with a little rock as my tripod and set up the shot.  It was a lot of fun! I was basically laying on the ground trying to focus my camera as much as I could to get that "perfect" shot.  Here is what I ended up with after I tried a few times.  This was the end result that is my favorite! 

Love the greens in this.  I think I'm going to blow it up and frame it. 

After I took my camera off my "tripod" I noticed that the rock was placed on there so perfect.  It was all chance that it happened this way. So I took a picture of it. 

Then another.....Cute little thing. 

It was a great Saturday morning. Thank you Chris for showing me a few of your tricks, I hope that we can again go out and see what other pictures we can capture.  I had a lot of fun! 

Feliz dia de Independencia Mexico!!

Ahora celebramos El Dia de Independencia de Mexico.  Soy una mujer orgullosa de ser Mexicana.  Vivir en un paiz donde no es nuestro y tener jente que no nos quiere es dificil.  Pero igual lo hago por que yo se que puedo progresar y lo estoy haciendo.  Nunca me averguenso de ser Mexicana.  Tal ves cuando era mas joven pero eso era porque todos no hacian burla.  Ahora les enseno a mis hijos que ser Mexicano's no es malo, que devemos respetar a todos pero igual sean como sean.

Este video lo dice todo.

Don Vicente Fernandez canta; Mexico Lindo y Querido:

Vicente Fernandez is one of the best known artists in Mexico.  His music is all Mariachi and I have to say he is one of the best at it.  Les dejo esta cancion para que la escuchen.

 

stupidity

I have to admit; this week I have been really off.  It just seems like I'm in a gloomy place.  I hate that feeling.  It's not really that I feel like anything is wrong or that anything bad will happen.  I think I have just disappointed myself.  I'm not perfect mind you but I did something that was totally not me.  I won't tell you what it was but I will tell you that I have to live with that for the rest of my life.  Nobody lost their lives, nobody was injured, I just did/said somthing that I'm not proud of. 

I guess it's just stupidity on my part.  Why I did it I cannot tell you; but I can say that it was stupid and I hope that I don't ever fall in that trap again.  I just hope that with time and a lot of contemplating I can learn to forgive myself and hope that there are not hard feelings left inside me.

I just had to post this.  It's theraputic and I like it.  I know those who read this will ask questions but I will not answer any of them.  I just wanted to write it down so that I could come back and see this post and be a better person and remind myself why stupidity is not good.

Ceci

Dreams do come true

A few years ago my mom set a goal for herself.  She wanted to become a citizen of these United States.  We all thought it was a great idea.  She set out to study and studied hard.  English is her 2nd language and knew that she would have to take the test in English.  Eventhough she was scared to take the test she never gave up.

She got her letter in the mail stating when she would have her test apt.  She was doubtful some days that she would not be able to pass but she kept studying and was determined to pass.  She would make my kids and myself help her with the questions and the answers.  She would make my kids ask her questions and she would give them the answers.  I was very impressed with my mom; I do believe that dreams come true and this was one BIG dream that she had wanted for such a long time. 

She passed the test and got her letter in the mail to be sworn in as a US Citizen.  Here are some pictures of the event.  My dad and I were the only ones that were able to go but I was so proud of my mom, YES I cried and was so happy that she had accomplished what she had set out to do. 

To my mom:  I am very proud of you for all that you have set out to do.  I know that when you say you want to do something you go for it.  You give me strength everyday to do what I want.  I know that I can count on you for anything and I am proud to be your daughter.